Meet Jacqueline & Her Children
Bereaved Family at Imagine
"My husband, Josh, was diagnosed with brain cancer in October 2019, at age thirty seven. Issac, our eighteen-month-old, had just begun daycare and Nora, our four-year-old at the time, was learning to ride a bike. We were talking about where we’d travel next, about whether or not we wanted to try for a third child. Our future was unfolding before our eyes. Then we learned of Josh’s terminal diagnosis.
While Josh and I grappled with the reality of his fate, we were grounded by our young children’s innocence. Our two little ones delighted in the flow of meals and treats that appeared on our doorstep from loving friends and family. Despite the fact that they were intrigued by his post-surgery Frankenstein scar, we held onto a scarier truth, but their lack of awareness served a powerful function for us in that it enabled us to maintain a denial of our own.
Josh experienced much stability over the two years that followed his diagnosis, and that stability allowed us to resume our normal lives. We worked, traveled, talked about our future, and even, miraculously, welcomed another child to our family, Rosie.
In September of 2021, nearly two years to the day that Josh’s tumor was discovered, a routine MRI revealed that the tumor had progressed. Our kids were now six, three and a half, and just six months old. This time around, Josh underwent another course of radiation and chemotherapy and Nora and Issac were somewhat more attuned to life around them that was changing.
Josh’s functioning declined due to effects of treatment and disease. Our older two, Nora and Issac, became curious about changes in Josh’s temperament. They asked questions about these changes in personality, energy level, and memory. We did our best to provide explanations of these changes in words that they could understand. We spent our time as a family, Facetiming with Josh during hospital and rehab stays, drawing him pictures, and joining him for dinner when he was on hospice.
I have been so inspired and comforted by how the kids navigated Josh’s steady decline and even his eventual death. At the time, it seemed as though they understood and accepted their reality without being able to really comprehend the enormity of their loss. Now nine, six, and three years old, the kids all speak regularly about Josh’s life and absence. They ask to hear stories of their dad and see photos and videos which serve to keep his memory alive.
Imagine has undoubtedly helped foster their growth and healthy relationship with loss. I always say that I have my kids to thank for my own perseverance. Not only have they given me reason to get out of bed every day, but their innocent perspective has mitigated my own suffering in ways that I never could have imagined."